We can often be the harshest judges of ourselves. It's like you have an internal critic that constantly criticizes everything you do.
The truth is that even the finest of us engage in negative self-talk. But if you continually surround yourself with it, it gets difficult to shrug off and can negatively impact your relationships and mental health. Dr. Lauren Alexander, a psychologist, defines negative self-talk and offers strategies for putting a stop to it.
What does negative self-talk entail?
You might be curious as to how self-talk is harmful. Is it always harmful to feel bad about yourself? No, not always. All of us are human. Everyone makes errors. We all have moments of depression or self-disgust. It's not unusual to make a mistake and say, "Oh, that was silly of me," or "Why did I do that?!"
Everyone has engaged in some degree of negative self-talk at some point. It's possible that they've referred to themselves negatively or anything similar. It's unlikely that you will be significantly affected if you say that to yourself occasionally. When a person engages in harmful negative self-talk, their internal dialogue may be more negative than positive.
Guidance for negative self-talk:
There's more to negative self-talk than merely feeling sorry for yourself. Yes, everyone experiences a little defeat from time to time; it's a normal aspect of life. In a similar vein, it's critical to be self-conscious and mindful of your errors. Dr. Alexander makes the point that negative self-talk turns into destructive behavior when it replaces other ways of communicating with oneself.
Several instances of unfavorable self-talk include:
“Nothing I try to do turns out well. I shouldn't attempt at all.”
“I should quit making friends because no one likes me.”
“Nothing about myself that I like.”
“I'm so stupid.”
Your mental health may be impacted if you constantly talk negatively to yourself, whether that conversation is really spoken aloud to those around you or is merely occurring in your head.
How damaging negative self-talk can really be:
It matters how we talk to ourselves. It's the account of our life, emotions, and experiences that we provide to ourselves. Look for strategies to change it if you find yourself weighing yourself down with unfavorable thoughts and self-criticism.
Here are a few highly concrete effects of being entrenched in a negative frame of mind:
It might make sadness or anxiety worse.
Negative self-talk can act as a hidden trigger for depression or anxiety attacks. The very last idea your mind needs when experiencing certain mental difficulties is ongoing criticism. Additionally, it may make you withdraw from your support network. According to Dr. Alexander, those who engage in damaging self-talk are significantly more inclined to withdraw and isolate themselves. This can increase the risk of sadness, anxiety, and even suicide.
It could sour your interactions with others.
Negative self-talk might lead someone to trauma dumping on their friends and family, even if talking to their family members about their problems is crucial. Your relationships may suffer if you constantly speak negatively to yourself and to other people. It might turn out to be true. You could at first feel reassured if you talk to others about these ideas. But after a while, individuals could start to distance themselves from you.
It can undermine your confidence.
The abundance of negative thinking inside your mind could cause you to lose confidence in yourself. Your confidence in your ability to try again will decrease the more you criticize yourself for not doing things perfectly. You get back what you put in. It makes sense that your mood would continue to be affected if all that was on your thoughts was negativity. In order to improve your self-talk, you must start practicing.
How to stop talking negatively to yourself:
Would you say these unfavorable things about your closest friends?
Most likely not. You must therefore be taught to treat yourself using the same decency, kindness, and respect that you do for your family. However, how do you end the vicious cycle of self-criticism? Since you spend the majority of your time with yourself, it can be challenging to stop this behavior. But it is possible to stop the cycle of unfavorable thinking.
Here are some strategies for handling critical self-talk:
Consider exercising neutral judgment.
You might believe that positive self-talk is the ideal remedy for negative self-talk. But for some people, that might be a step too far. Truthfully, complimenting oneself isn't always necessary to help you be kinder to yourself, especially if it doesn't feel genuine. According to Dr. Alexander, it probably won't feel particularly natural at first. She advises neutralizing your ideas as an alternative. Change your thoughts from being so incredibly negative to something more reasonable and well-balanced.
What will make this successful? It's recognizing oneself in these ideas, according to Dr. Alexander, and trying to shoot them aside like a pesky fly. Then, as you continue to practice, you can begin to switch to more optimistic thinking. You can emphasize some of your strengths and the things you do well. After that, I started slowly but steadily sowing a new way of thinking. It undoubtedly requires time.
Repetition is key.
Repetition is the key to creating wholesome habits. However, habits don't just go.
Dr. Alexander reassures you, Whatever is said repeatedly will eventually get embedded in your mind. That's how those unfavorable thoughts originally appeared. You keep saying the same things. Try replacing negative thoughts with more rational ones by repeating them. Another way to make them stick is to write down realistic or encouraging sentiments. Negative ideas can be filtered out by anything that helps you develop a fresh story in your head. By writing the thinking you wish to have on cards and reading them to yourself, like affirmation cards.
Comments