The cliched adage "opposites attract" might be true in the context of romantic compatibility, but it by no means offers advice on what to do when the yin to your yang moves in with you. Given their polar opposite tendencies, it brings up the issue of whether both extroverts and introverts can coexist peacefully. Therefore, you need a strategy if you're worried about living with someone you love but who has a totally different definition of what "free time" is.
Recall that an introvert is often someone who enjoys spending time alone themselves, with simply their partner, or with their chosen family. "A true introvert is more than just a timid person. An introvert is just someone who gets their energy from spending time alone rather than turning it outward into social situations "according to clinical psychologist Carla Manly, Ph.D., who focuses on interpersonal problems. Conversely, extroverts may feel more worn out because they will not have time to socialize or grow their personal network.
The catch, of course, is that both introversion and extroversion operate on a sliding scale, so most individuals are a little bit of both. (Some people even fit the description of "ambiverts," who combine introverted and extroverted traits.) In order to live with another person who has differing opinions from you, it is crucial to understand the realities of this continuum.
How partnerships between introverts and extroverts can work together
Dr. Manly contends that a long-term partnership between such an intense extrovert and an overwhelming introvert is unlikely. They might simply butt heads over their lives, which might eventually drive them apart. But the matter is more complicated than that.
According to her, if a couple's introversion and extroversion levels are only slightly different, their differences can actually serve as a catalyst for attraction and personal development. "For instance, a mild introvert that veers toward the secluded side can be drawn to a moderate extrovert's buoyant, outgoing side. The introvert's more quiet, thoughtful demeanor may likewise appeal to the extrovert." Basically, if both you and your considerable other can adapt to one another's preferences and requirements, you might just find that you both love all of these activities individually.
An introvert may find previously shunned social events to be now enjoyable. In a similar vein, the extrovert might learn to appreciate the advantages of more alone time and collaborative effort.
There are three ways to maintain the "opposites attract" philosophy when you move in together.
Stress may arise once you move in with each other the more your partner and you fall on opposite ends of the introvert-extrovert spectrum. Therefore, planning for these differences and talking through how you'll resolve them beforehand might be crucial for your partnership.
Because here's the thing, If you don't resolve your differences as a couple, they may exacerbate over time. An occasional quarrel about what to do on a Weekend won't be a deal-breaker.
1. Try to comprehend your partner's perspective.
Ask the introverted person with whom you are sharing a home key how they feel about social events. Is there the highest amount of formal occasions before they start to feel exhausted? What do they prefer to do to relax? How much of my time do they require each day?
Being social may be incredibly, moderately, or severely taxing depending on an individual's level of introversion, where they fall on the introversion-extraversion continuum. A social gathering will be more mentally taxing for a person who is more introverted.
Talk to your partner about why they get motivated in a gathering and see how frequently they need to meet out with friends to feel fulfilled if you're dealing with the opposite situation, a partner who is extroverted.
2. Make it a habit to exercise your emotional stability every day.
Both introverts and extroverts may frequently overcome challenges if they have high emotional intelligence and effective communication abilities, according to Dr. Manly.
You can hone your emotional intelligence abilities in a number of ways, such as:
To better comprehend the peaks and valleys of your emotions, try free writing and journaling.
Adopting a practice that helps you find your center, such as meditation, can assist you in remaining attentive to your partner's needs.
Observing things from their viewpoint. How are they currently feeling, knowing what you now know about how they take in energy?
3. Think about your connection with an eye toward improvement.
Your relationship will be based on resentment, not respect, if you're always thinking about what your partner is forcing you to do or preventing you from ever doing.
Being somewhat out of sync on the introversion-extroversion spectrum may not be a problem if partners are dedicated to treating each other's needs with compassion and. Slight or moderate variations on the introversion-extroversion spectrum can be viewed as chances to become more adaptable, connected, and loving, especially for couples who are growth-oriented.
Your introverted partner may eventually teach you how to draw strength and inspiration from quieter, introspective hobbies. If you're an introvert, you might find that your outgoing S.O. motivates you to network and you end up making fantastic, new relationships as a result. In other words, as you develop together, you gradually move toward Dr. Manly's continuum.
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